Sex drugs and rock n roll

I started reading Keith Richards autobiography today. Although I've never quite understood the eyeliner look I love his grunge factor, and his cockney slang. Here's a little tidbit of how they do it (sorry Keith)

Rhyming slang
The construction involves replacing a common word with a rhyming phrase of two or three words and then, in almost all cases, omitting the secondary rhyming word, in a process called hemiteleia, making the origin and meaning of the phrase elusive to listeners not in the know.

The most frequently cited example- although it is almost never employed by current users- involves the replacement of "stairs" with the rhyming phrase "apples and pears". Following the usual pattern of omission, "(and) pears" is then dropped and "stairs" becomes "apples". Thus the spoken phrase "I'm going up the apples" means "I'm going ['up the stairs'/'upstairs']".

In similar fashion, "telephone" is replaced by "dog" (= 'dog-and-bone'); "wife" by "trouble" (= 'trouble-and-strife'); "eyes" by "minces" (= 'mince pies'); "wig" by "syrup" (= 'syrup of fig') and "feet" by "plates" (= 'plates of meat').....:

"It nearly knocked me off me plates — he was wearing a syrup! So I got straight on the dog to me trouble and said I couldn't believe me minces."